Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 27 February 2014

image for Sarah Palin Addresses The Pregnant Rumors: Gosh Darnit, It's All Them Mooseburgers I've Been Chowing Down Lately
Sarah on her way to check her mailbox.

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah "Snowflake" Palin recently spoke with Savannah Bamboo of Political Salad Bar Magazine.

The former vice-presidential candidate who along with Senator John McCain got their cabooses kicked by President Obama wanted to clear up the rumor that she is with child.

Palin, who was wearing an Iceberg State University sweatshirt, blue denim Daisy Duke shorts, and gold lamé sandals remarked that she knows she's not pregnant because she and her hubby Toddy, as she calls him, have not had sex in over four months.

She did blame her somewhat bloated tummy on the half dozen mooseburgers she eats on a daily basis.

Miss Bamboo asked her why she and Todd had not done the hokey pokey in four months.

Palin got a sad look on her face and replied that Todd, being an outdoorsy type of guy, is always off moose hunting, or snowmobiling, or dogsled racing, or salmon fishing with his long time fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka.

Bamboo asked Sarah if she wasn't jealous that her husband was off with a gorgeously sexy woman.

The Thunder Troll, as Vice-President Joe Biden nicknamed her looked out the window, took a sip from her bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila, and simply said "Ya know Bambi, I guess a lot of women in my (boots) would be a bit jealous, but I'm not because I know that I can trust my hubby just like Dolly Parton's husband trusts her...Sarah thought for a moment and then said, "Ah let's make that just like Jay Leno's wife trusts him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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