James Milan of right here in Leonardsville is excited over a lady that he spotted that had recently moved to town "And boy is she a knockout!"
"I have been asking around to those who will talk to me, mostly men, and they tell me that she is a widow and might be hot-to-trot if you know what I mean."
He's already wrote her a couple of letters and now he's planning to ask her out this Saturday night to the Boogie Barn.
"Look at this letter Arnold (his best friend) and look what she wrote back to me. Oh she wants me alrighty. But you have to read through the lines..between the lines."
"This is her second one in three days! That woman can't wait!"
Dear Mr. Idiot: I realize that my telling you to take your love letters and poetry and shove them up your ass has you calling it a metaphor for something really sexy. You just haven't figured it out yet. 'I meant every word!' Now I called the police. One more letter and I'm calling the sheriff and turning lose Fang when you come by here. -Betty.
"You see that Arnold. She even told me her pet's name and when a woman calls a name, you're practically in. I'm going to see her tonight. See, she just used her first name."
"I'll see you, James. Probably at the hospital. Fang?"
"Why are you going to the hospital, Arnold. You hurt?"