Written by Bureau
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Topics: Money, Pig

Saturday, 22 February 2014

image for County Fair Greased Naked College Kid Contest

Instead of the usual greased pig contest at most of the county fairs, we draw a big crowd of locals to see us spot a young stranger around twenty years old, grab him and take him in a building, show him $500, take off his clothes, grease him good and send him running around the pen with a bunch of local fat women on his tail!

This always brings out a huge crowd and the fat lady who catches him gets to kiss him and set him in her lap for photographs.

Thus far the guys have not only been good sports but enjoyed the chase and the $500.

We used to have a $50,000 Catfish Contest. Fishermen purchased a special 3-day license and any catfish he caught had a tag on it with different numbers on them.

At the end of the Fair, we would read off all the number and fishermen won $50, some $100, some $500 and one lucky guy or gal might have a number matching the $50,000 ticket.

But the weather usually got bad and few were caught over a 35 year period. Of course, the $50,000 fish were insured by Lloyds of London. It cost us $3-4,000 for the insurance.

"Hey, Lullabelle has caught the guy and giving him a great big kiss!", yelled a guy near us. Let's go see him sit in her lap!"

"No ass-pinching Lullabelle!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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