Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 20 February 2014

image for Primitive douche bag discovered in New York City Hall
Definitely looking the worse for wear

New York - The New York Toast has reported this evening that an old douche bag was found 'in a pile with broken liquor bottles and food tines after being thrown out after a raucous party in Lower Manhattan' tonight.

The broadsheet devoted several column inches speculating on the tramp's identity when someone in the Meatpacking District of New York tweeted a pic of human frights activist Kerry Kennedy seen leaving a cocktail party at Bill de Blasio's orifice tonight.

Fifty four year old Kerry is one of assassinated US Attorney General Robert F Kennedy's 11 children as well as the ex wife of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo with whom she has kids and a divorce in common.

Next week she's up before a judge and jury in a long-awaited DUI case after getting caught drug-driving high on Ambien, a notorious prescription sleeping pill.

'"Maybe Kerry's lobbying for a bit of help to throw the jury, heheh," a sanitation operative at New York City Hole chuckled at Toast reporters.

Catch a video of this evening's trashy mishap by clicking on this link.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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