Written by Wumf
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Monday, 17 February 2014

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Dirty Bathroom Clean-Up Crew

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Labor Department issued a statement today about a new Job force initiative designed to provide needed jobs to the nation's unemployed.

"We are calling it the 'R.R.R.P.' for 'Restroom Renewal & Restoration Project'," stated Dept. of Labor spokesman, Carter Tonerall. "We commissioned Ralph Lauren to design the uniform that will be worn by all the workers. We wanted our workers to have a distinctive look, for high visibility, so that the citizens of American could easily spot them and watch their tax dollars in action."

When asked about the exact purpose of the R.R.R.P., Tonerall explained, "Our workers will be cleaning up all those dirty public restrooms across America. You know the ones at rest stops, national parks, and other government facilities? The ones that you don't want to use without putting on some kind of protective gear? The ones your mom and dad warned you about? Well, no more! America's public restrooms are going to be spotless!"

According to Tonerall, at least 100 workers have already signed up for the program. Upon signing, each worker will receive a uniform, minimum wage, and one week's paid vacation if they last a year.

"We have high hopes for this job force initiative," concluded Tonerall. "We think it will be as effective for the current 'Non-Depression' as the W.P.A. and the C.C.C. were for the Great Depression back in the 30's."

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