Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 17 February 2014

image for Sing Sing Prison Confiscates Over 3,000 Illegal Cell Phones During Surprise Inspection
Many Sing Sing prisoners feel that their rights were violated by the surprise inspection.

OSSINING, New York - Officials at Sing Sing Prison have just informed the media of the results of a surprise inspection.

A correction facility spokesperson who would only give her initials, V.Y. said that a group of 43 Sing Sing prison guards searched each and every cell.

After an inspection that last 5 hours and 15 minutes, the guards revealed that they had found a total of 3,103 illegal cell phones in the cells, the prison rec room, the cafeteria, and even in the dentist office.

Chief Guard Guido Farfalino, 47, said that he could not believe that so many cell phones could go unnoticed.

He also noted that along with the illegal cell phones the team of guards also found 2,949 illegal iPods, 134 illegal Sony Play Stations, 43 illegal microwave ovens, 29 cans of illegal pepper spray, 19 illegal taser guns, 13 pounds of Durango Bango marijuana, and a 62-inch Sanyo Big Screen TV.

SIDENOTE: All of the items will be donated to the local Salvation Army except for the Durango Bango marijuana which will be shipped to the state capital in Albany where it will be burned in the state incinerator.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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