Written by KendoMonkey
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Topics: Sex, Breasts

Friday, 3 November 2006

image for Milwaukee man tries to define "Perky Breasts", arrested on charges of lewd gesturing
Is it Perky?

A Milwaukee man, Gerard Clemens, was arrested this morning by local police during an alledged attempt to explain to his neighbor exactly what he meant by "your wife has beautifully perky breasts". Clemens is yet to release a statement from his lawyers, but local "nosy neighbor", Rose Hydrangea, told us:

"Well, they were there in the garden, just chatting over the hedge. I couldn't hear much of what they were saying but they seemed a little heated. Perhaps not angry, but heated. I noticed that Gerard started uses these hand signals, movements in the air, a bit like a mime artists trying to describe something. Anyway, they were very personal and I called the police. Er, that is, someone called the police."

The neighbor in question, Derek Blatherby, was unavailable for comment. However, his wife, Debra, was willing to chat:

"I don't know exactly what Gerard was doing but I don't find it offensive!" she began. This reporter took a minute of his time to examine the chest area of Debra which she was quite happy to display for me. "You can see what he means, I think. I'm not sure if I would describe them as perky. What would you say? I mean, they're certainly well rounded... they're well proportioned, they gleam a little in the sunlight. Perky? Sure, why not? I'd like to know exactly what kind of gestures Gerard was using, I think it would be most informative!"

Police have also yet to comment on the case but are said to be attempting to persuade Gerard to describe the breasts to their photo-fit artist

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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