Written by VWVonHagen
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Sunday, 16 February 2014

image for Chicago Drug Dealer Uses Don Blackman Record To Travel Back In Time and Sell High Grade Marijuana to Founding Fathers

The History of the U.S. is being rewritten by a Chicago drug dealer who discovered that spinning his copy of the record 'Heart's Desire' by groove legend Don Blackman opens a wormhole allowing him to travel back in time to the late 18th Century.

Since discovering the route back, 'Q Dog' claims to have : staked out territory for his product, given George Washington a cell phone for whenever the founding fathers need to 'bag up', stationed members of his posse on corners in 18th Century America, and imported automatic weapons to help take out British colonial forces. Americans were recently stunned to discover that the U.S. Constitution actually contains references to hip hop culture and the 'right to get high', long overlooked by generations of academics. Now it seems Q Dog's activities are set to send us all back to the history books.

It also seems that George Washington had very bad breath while Q Dog describes Benjamin Franklin as a 'control freak'. Authorities are now concerned that if they cannot locate Q Dog and his record collection he may end up carrying out his threat to 'waste Franklin B' in order to frighten the rest of the Founding Fathers into continuing to amend the Bill Of Rights or as it is properly known since yesterday 'The Bill Of Q Dog'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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