Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 15 February 2014

image for Presumed 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed promises to 'sing like a canary' in return for one night with Adele
Ain't over yet for Khalid Shaikh Mohammed until his chosen Fat Lady sings

Washington AC/DC - He's already turned down a date night with Michelle Obama and/or Tom Cruise in a complex plea-bargain arrangement to get his rocks off before naming names and other vital stuff.

Now lawyers acting for Guantanamo inmate Khalid Shaikh Mohammed believe the latest offer to make a clean breast of it could be the USA's best chance of bringing 9/11 terrists to trial.

"The Gitmo sleepover with Skyfall singer Adele is a no brainer," the head of FBI special ops said today.

"We could even substitute a tranny lookalike if the Brit chick throws a wobbly on, uh, religious - or other - grounds."

Pakistan-born Khalid Shaikh Mohammed is being schmoozed to testify against fellow terrorist Sulaiman Abu Ghaith in an upcoming New York case commencing at the end of next week.

FBI psychologists said today they'd tried hundreds of ruses to get him to talk including supplying the captive with nude vids of Brit home-grown terrorist Samantha Lewthwaite, the notorious so-called 'White Widow' behind East Afican attacks.

But singer Adele Adkins appears to be the only one to tweak Mr Mohammed's gonads after Guantanamo warders noticed his manhood tumescing whenever they played the James Bond movie signature song.

Next week delicate negotiations with Adkins' manager will take place in London to hammer out a complex satisfactory to all.

Meanwhile a standby list of other sleepover shagging possibilities includes fellow obese songbird Susan Boyle and seriously overweight bassoonists from the Messed - uh, Massed! - Bands of the Royal Marines.

Expect a complex deal to be hammered out before Friday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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