Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 12 February 2014

image for Western Maryland Wants To Secede From Maryland and Become The Nation's 51st State
Three young school girls who are standing in what would be Western Maryland.

RUSTIC GAP, Maryland - The residents of the western part of Maryland say that they are fed up with the governor telling them that they can't do this and they can't do that.

And for that reason there is a strong movement in the western part of the state to secede from the state and become the Republic of Western Maryland.

Spearheading the group are Mary Bubala and Honus Lucknoodle. Mary and Honus insist that they are not having an affair and are merely infatuated with each other's looks.

Bubala has promised that she has not even let Honus get to second base. Honus has replied, "It's freaking true, DAMMIT!"

Ms. Bubala has said that the hardworking folks of Western Maryland are tired of having their taxes raised. They're sick of all of the talk about gun control. And they have had it with the anti-Big Gulp sentiment.

Lucknoodle added, "And don't forget about the new bill calling for pepperoni-less pizzas hon, I mean Mary"

Governor Gilbert O'Malley has said publically that he sympathizes with those who want to secede but he is quick to add that anyone who tries to destroy his beloved Maryland will be arrested and most probably be sent to prison somewhere in West Texas.

SIDENOTE: President Obama was asked for his opinion on the matter. He giggled and said that the people of Maryland all seem to have just way too much free time on their hands. He then added that the way things are going North Colorado may become the 51st state.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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