Written by Hydrogen Balloon

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Sunday, 27 July 2014

image for Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana
Stoned Again...

Philadelphia, PA-- A six-foot tall statue of the Virgin Mary inside a local church has been doing something strange. Parishers at the church of Our Lady Of Hysterical Weeping say the statue has begun smoking marijuana. The statue begins exhaling smoke at exactly 4:20PM every day except Sunday. Pope Francis I has sent a representative to investigate the smoky miracle.

The statue of the Virgin Mary appears normal at first glance. A closer look reveals reddish eyes and a strange sort of smile. The statue also has a faraway look in its face--it looks either deep in prayer or deeply stoned. There is also a curious scent of both roses and marijuana around the statue.

"She's stoned." declared Sister Sinsemilla after examining the statue for the Vatican. "Just look at her--she's been smoking weed all day long. I always knew the BVM was a stoner!" said Sister Sinsemilla with delight. "I'm going to inform the Vatican." she added.

When Pope Francis I received Sister Sinsemilla's report he was overjoyed.

"I am just so happy it wasn't one of those depressing statues that cries all the time." said the pope as he lit up a joint. "Those types are a bore."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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