Written by Keith Shirey
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Sunday, 9 February 2014

image for Top NSA Brass Watching Porn Not Snowden

The talk of the morning news shows on Sunday, February 9, was that cheap software - available to everyone on-line - was used by Edward Snowden to plunder secrets from the NSA.

He accessed millions of the country most highly classified documents. It turns out that NSA officials in Hawaii had briefly challenged Snowden but let it drop.

The incredible incompetency of the agency was spotlighted in the news programs. How could top brass in the NSA allow an underling like Snowden to download the nation's most sensitive military and intelligence material? No answers were given.

But the solution was found this afternoon when a secretary to one of the top NSA officials revealed the truth.

It has been widely reported that independent agency contractors have been looking for pornographic content in web sites and e-mails and downloading it to private files instead of protecting national security.

They weren't the only ones. According to the secretary, who spoke only if her identity would remain anonymous, top agency chiefs had what they called the "porn room" at NSA headquarters in Washington, D.C.

"They spent hours a day in that room. God only knows what they were doing," stated the clerical worker.

"They certainly weren't overseeing the monitoring of internal NSA intelligence. And this was a couple of years after the Manning leaks," she stated.

She concluded that "For intelligence heads they certainly are not very intelligent. Of course they had their minds on something else!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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