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Sunday, 9 February 2014

image for So This is Where California's Water Has Been Going
Sink Hole sucks up water in Lake Shasta

REDDiNG, CALIFORNIA - Today scientists from Stanford University School of Earth Sciences announced a startling discovery - a gigantic sinkhole at the bottom of Lake Shasta, ten miles north of Redding.

Lake Shasta, with a surface area of 30,000 acres is the state's largest reservoir, and its third-largest body of water after Lake Tahoe and the Salton Sea. It is currently at 36% of storage capacity and for some unknown reason has been wildly dropping over the past several weeks.

Captain Sammy Shivers, who runs an excursion boat business on the lake, was the first to suspect a sinkhole because he witnessed it firsthand. "I was out there fishing using my electronic trolling device when I noticed a great big whirlpool just beginning to form north of my boat," said Captain Shivers. "The water just swirled around in a larger and larger circumference, until it was about a 1000 feet in diameter. Eventually, it enveloped my boat, just like it was in a giant toilet being flushed,]. I knew I was in trouble, started the engine and got the heck out of there. Shortly after the water simply made an extremely loud sucking noise and disappeared!"

Captain Shivers, whose boat was left high and dry on the lakebed to the side of the sinkhole, had to hike an hour to reach to the nearest boat launch in order to alert authorities.

Stanford Scientists suspect nearby Mount Shasta, a dormant, but still highly dangerous volcano, may be the culprit. The volcanic and pumice filled landscape created by the volcano are precursors for sinkholes. While scientists are investigating the possibility of other even larger sinkholes, that area of the lake, now known as "Shivers Sinkhole", will be cordoned off for safety reasons.

"I'm selling my boat business and getting going somewhere where there aren't any volcanos," said Shivers. "It's downright dangerous!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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