Written by Bureau
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Topics: Police, Fat, liquor, Eunuch, Broken

Saturday, 8 February 2014

image for Fat Man Steals 20 bottles of whiskey from Liquor store!

While a friend caused a commotion outside a liquor store in Louisville, Kentucky, a big bellied guy in the store filled his pants...well, he didn't exactly crap on himself or anything, that was later.

The fat guy inside the store filled his pants with approximately 20 bottle of Kentucky Bourbon.

"It was everything from Four Roses -maybe for Valentine's Day -to Maker's Mark", a worker in the store told reporters later after the police had left with the thief.

"His partner got away but as soon as we can get this guy to St. Jude's Hospital we'll come back and help search."

The reason for the hospital visit, according to the store employee, is that when the fat guy tried to run he fell face first off the curb and cut himself badly.

That's how we know what kind of alcohol he had. At least five of the bottles broke and cut some important things up in there, by the way he was screaming."

The police told us later that they were just cruising by looking for underage drinkers when the big guy saw them and panicked.

"He's going to need a lot more alcohol once he sees what he cut off."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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