Written by susan allen-rosario
Print this
Topics: Weather, Farting

Saturday, 8 February 2014

image for Cold weather halts flatulence study
"We found several bowls of chili beans near the pond."

Scientists conducting experiments measuring the speed of the "wind from a duck's ass", had to stop their work due to cold weather.

"Every time the duck farted, it was so cold the fart froze in place. We could not get an accurate reading to study the cliché " faster than the wind from a duck's ass."

Scientists also suspect that people in the area where the study was being conducted may have been feeding the fowl something to make the ducks fart excessively.

"We found several bowls of chili beans near the pond where the ducks live. If we were studying 'the more you eat the more you toot' it would not be a problem, but that's a study for another day."

Locals told reporters that they have created a new game using the frozen farts as a kind of puck.

"We hit the suspended frozen farts with a golf club sending them to a chosen target. Points are given for accuracy and distance."

Scientists say that the weather and the possible sabotage of the study by the town's folk make it impossible to get any kind of true readings.

"Something is fowling up our study, but it's certainly not the birds."

Make susan allen-rosario's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 3?

2 17 21 12
64 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more