Written by Michael Williams
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Friday, 7 February 2014

image for Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

VANCOUVER, WA-What was supposed to be a simple coffee purchase turned in to a critical moment in the career of George Blankenship, associate professor of English at Washington State University Vancouver as he exchanged glances with one of his Feminist Literary Studies students at Twin-Perks Espresso stand in Vancouver.

"I am a Starbucks man. I was running extremely late to the university and stopped at the Twin Perks because it is on my way," Blankenship said.

Blankenship reported that after nervously driving his SUV up to the Twin Perks window, he was face to face with scantily clad WSU Vancouver senior Sandra Bukholter, an exemplary student Feminist Literary Studies Class.
Blankenship added, "I mean, there she was, in a black lace teddy, I wanted to speed off immediately, but where was I going to go? It was too late."

Blankenship said the two of them made no acknowledgements to one another and continued the transaction as normal before he drove away with his bedazzled, glittered cup of coffee.
In an interview with the Examiner, Buckholter commented that seeing her professor "Deeply disturbed her" and "class has been "extremely awkward ever since."

"She is an A student and demonstrates understanding of every core feminist issue in her critical essays…that she works at such an establishment completely changes the dynamic of my research," Blankenship said.

Buckholter, who works part-time at Twin Perks, understands that she is setting her gender back many years by wearing the black, lace teddy.

"I get it, they don't really want coffee, they want to oogle me…but the money is so good I just can't give the job up…and I have to admit I like the attention…but seeing Dr. Blankenship in line made me question the foundations of Feminism altogether…I mean, does he even hear his own lectures?"

Blankenship, who "had a bad feeling" about visiting the Bikini stand, says that while he "regrets visiting the stand, the coffee was actually quite good."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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