WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Congress is glad to announce that their Elderly Persons Stimulus Package has been well received throughout the country.
American Spotlight Magazine reports that the new bill consists of providing free Viagra pills and hooha lubricating gel to elderly citizens of the United States.
A couple from Baltimore, Oliver and Ethel Cottonclay, who are both 83, stated that the new bill is absolutely fantastic and it has really helped them to rekindle their romance from way back when.
Ethel said that the first time that Ollie tried the Viagra pills she had to stop in the middle of their foreplay and turn on the lights.
ASM reporter Cutter Shiloh asked her why. She replied because she just wanted to make sure that the virile fella that was putting it to her was in fact her husband of 63 years Oliver Cottoncaly.