Written by Bureau
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Wednesday, 5 February 2014

image for Jane Goodall: I Know What Happened to the Missing Men
The 'Other' Thinker

Jane Goodall, the primatologist celebrated for her meticulous studies of chimps in the wild has stated that she wants people to know before something could happen to her.

"I know what happened to the leading male scientists and best brains of the nations. They suddenly disappeared one by one over the years and now I think I could turn up missing also."

Goodall told reporters that there are creatures among the apes that she learned to recognize though they held much of the same habits as the apes that they mimic.

"I had so much time to study them and I often wondered why one group would never stay around me for long."

"Although they can appear as humans, they knew they could easily be seen as odd after awhile. So they chose chimps. Believe me, I have sent proof to our president and many other leaders so I now leave it up to them and you reporters."

Goodall says she has no idea who these beings are of where they are from. They could even be from here a long time ago.

"In every missing scientist report, they simply disappear. Oh, they are not all scientists. But those that could recognize these aliens or whatever, just go missing."

Goodall finished with the report that each male was drawn away from his experiments and never seen again. Usually right at the point of a big breakthrough in DNA for instance.

"Where is Dr. Hyatt, Professor Wringens? They were lured away and now they are gone."


"Easily. They were all male. They were lured away by a beautiful prostitute, the weak spot with men almost unanimously.

She stated that is all she had to say.

"I think she wanted us to know before she disappeared", argued one.

"I do not think so. I think she has told all that she knows and that they will begin working on males to show the stupidity of her statements."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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