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Monday, 3 February 2014

image for U.S. States to Join Forces to Save Money?
Will Old Glory Wear Less Stars Soon?

WINSTON-SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA - Today at the annual Governor's Conference, the governors of all fifty states met in seclusion to try to figure out how to save money in these difficult economic times.

In a brief statement to the press, Wyoming Governor, Matt Mead, expressed the best idea that was thrown around today's meeting: combining states.

"Obvious configurations would be joining South Carolina and North Carolina, South Dakota and North Dakota, as well as Virginia and West Virginia," stated Governor Mead, "although some governors think we could do even better - combining all the states beginning with "New" like New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey, and New Mexico."

"Another idea that has potential is combining states that you wouldn't ordinarily think to combine, like California joining Arizona to become Calizona. Or Washington and Montana to become Washingtana," explained the Governor.

Governor Mead further explained that in the age of the internet, all the conjoined states could do their combined state business via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, and Skype. "The savings would be enormous if we combined all the states' agencies. It would cut down on redundancy and make state governments more efficient, thus saving billions of dollars in tax money."

Mead admitted not all the governors are on board with the idea. "Texas Governor, Rick Perry, is still talking withdrawal from the U.S. in order to make Texas an autonomous country," he said, "but we are confident that if this idea flies, our constituents will benefit enormously."

When polled by phone, constituents of the states mentioned by Governor Mead were in favor of the idea by 4 to 1.

Ralph Jeeterman, of New Jersey, suggested even more ideas, "We should call New York, "Well Used York" as it clearly isn't new anymore. West Virginia should just be called "More Virginia". And as for New Mexico, it can just go back to Mexico, don't you think?"

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