Washington, DC In breaking news, it was announced that Dick Cheney has just shot Justin Bieber in the face with a shotgun. Bieber was rushed to the hospital and will be ok but his baby face will never be the same.
Cheney, who claims executive privilege for the shooting, was quoted as saying, "I'm not going to let that @$#%&* screw up my country on my watch!" When reminded it was no longer his "watch," the reporter was told by Cheney, "#$@%&) #$@*^&."
It was thought that Cheney had begun to mellow in recent years as he would now let gay females be within his presence but recent events prove otherwise.