Written by queen mudder

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Topics: Pentagon, Wicca

Thursday, 23 January 2014

image for Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban
Chaplain Cynthia's henna tramp stamp now also ok

Washington AC/DC - A meat eschewing pagan US Army chaplain is feeling mighty pleased today after the Pentagon finally backed down over a ban on religious beards in the military following 100 years of clean shaven tradition.

"Praise be to Isis, mother of creation!" Captain The Reverend Sister Cynthia Skyclad tweeted this morning at the news that she need never take a razor to the luxuriant auburn whiskers she's been fighting to keep on religious grounds.

The change of Pentagon heart means no US military personnel's religious bodily totems - such as turbans, skullcaps, whiskers and tattoos, henna tramp stamps and underarm/bikini line cornrows - need ever be removed because of the new anti-discrimination pact signed last week.

Also likely to be affected by the Pentagon backdown is General Ann Dunwoody, commander of Army Materiel Command in Kabulshit, Afghanistan and the first female four-star general US military history.

Although not a female chaplain as such General Dunwoody is a widely respected part-time Presbyterian lay preacher who sports a religious tongue piercing on holy days of obligation.

A selection of her sermons is available on this site.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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