Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 22 January 2014

image for FBI wake-up call for Sleepy Hollow sleeper cell strung out on Nembutal
Sleepwalking into madness, uh?

New York - Alarm bells are ringing at the Westchester County, New York HQ of a clandestine terror cell under covert surveillance by the FBI in its monitoring of long-term Cold War hibernation programs officially declared inert/dead by the Bush/Cheney Administration in 2001.

The 20-strong gang, which is believed to have gone into voluntary chemically-induced stasis around the time of Bill Clinton's 1992 White House election victory, has suddenly shown signs of reawakening after a dodgy batch of sleeping pills induced a return to sleep-walking by some of its somnambulist founder members.

A trail of clues has seen the Feds impound a consignment of rogue pills this week, found near the cell's secret safe house located at 20771 Pocahontas Avenue, Mount Pleasant following FBI surveillance of bent pharma providers on the web.

"We think they're planning sleep-walking into a Big One," Special Agent Rollo Woolfhound tweeted this morning, "it could be right up there with 9/11 and Unabomber stuff."

The cell's existence was previously suspected by Justice Department officials during the Lewinsky prez-shagging trial after a dry cleaning operative who laundered Monica's notorious blue dress was found dealing in high-potency melatonin tabs at the Pocahontas Avenue address.

Several police raids in the area also uncovered a home-distillery plant producing organic/macrobiotic versions of the anaesthetic drug Propofool - uh, Propofol! - the toxic cocktail-of-choice of singer Michael Jackson.

Expect an ugly wake-up call for the gang some time next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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