A sad day for the Disney fans everywhere. On the morning of Mickey's 75th birthday, he was the victim of a massive stroke. The extent of the damage is not yet known but Goofy was overheard saying that "Old Mick" was slurring his words so badly the night before the incident but he wasn't sure if it was due to his drug addiction to painkillers and booze.
"Everyone knew he was hanging out with Rush Limbaugh on his estate, and you know that kind of environment is not supportive." Minnie told reporters in a formal statement earlier this morning.
"The washed out cartoon actor has fallen to second fiddle to the overweight bear Pooh. He has been arrested numerous times on minor drug charges and indecent exposure in recent years. When you roll like this, something is bound to bring you to a screeching halt, cartoon caption or not." Florida Police Chief, Ima Darkpole.
"We were hoping we could turn him around, get him straight, but now we don't know what is going to happen. He might have to go back to the silent cartoons if we can get him walking again." Donald Duck sprayed to the press.
Mickey Mouse is being held at "Our Lady of Crayon" in critical condition where Top Cat will be doing a scan on his head.