YUMA, Arizona - Susie Firkenmeister has said that she has always been an average red-blooded American girl.
She commented that during her high school days she was a member of the cheerleading squad, the math club, and president of the student council.
She said that she married her high school sweetheart Earl Firkenmeister but divorced him after three years when he left her for a sleazy pole dancer from Cucamonga, California.
Susie said she did not date for five months. She remarked that she did talk on the phone a lot to some of her old female high school friends.
It was then that she says things started changing within her physically. She said that she realized that when she had her cell phone in her jeans front pocket and it vibrated that her libido suddenly shot up.
She ignored it at first but after a dozen or so times she said that she began calling up guys from her place of work.
Susie started going out on dates and sometimes would date two guys at the same time.
She said that she became lasciviously lewd and began having meaningless sex with casual acquaintances.
She decided to see a sex therapist who told her that she had become a nymphomaniac.
Susie commented that the sex therapist told her to try putting the cell phone in her back pocket but she said that her libido still shot up through the roof when her phone would vibrate.
SIDENOTE: Susie's sex therapist suggested that she turn off the vibrate feature of her cell phone. Susie refused saying that one does not take a paint brush away from Leonardo da Vinci.