Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Death, Murder, Fridge

Friday, 24 January 2014

image for Rogue Refrigerator Murders Local Woman
Rogue Refrigerator Chases Miss Smegma

Philadelphia, PA-- An 'out of control' refrigerator has crushed the life out of a local resident. Police sources say Miss Vicky Smegma, a spinster, was chased for two blocks by the crazed appliance before it finally caught up to her and killed her.

Witnesses to the brutal attack say the rogue refrigerator apparently thought it was a Dalek. It seemed to be screaming 'exterminate! exterminate!' as it went rampaging through the streets after Miss Smegma. The freaky frig was finally stopped after it collided with a flagpole.

Police aren't sure why the refrigerator went insane, but say the incident wasn't that unusual. They referred the tragic case over to a qualified appliance repairman.

"Refrigerator are loners--nobody really knows what they are thinking." said an appliance repairman at the grisly crime scene.

Repairman recommend that people talk to their refrigerator, and let them know that they are appreciated.

"People should talk to their refrigerators every day. In fact, people should talk to all their appliances. It prevents them from having breakdowns and going insane."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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