NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bill de Blasio has stated that his goal is to figure out ways for the city of New York to get back on its feet financially.
He recently stated to a group of delicatessen owners that he wants for New York City to become the exact opposite of the bankrupt city of Detroit.
He was asked how he hopes to keep the Big Apple from going under, the way city money is being spent left and right on frivolous things.
"Frivolous things like what?" the mayor asked semi-angrily.
One of the reporters replied that spending $293,702 to put in hummingbird feeders in Central Park is a perfect example.
Another reporter pointed out that paying $18,000 to a Shoshoni Indian rain maker was ridiculous since one, it did not rain, and two, the Shoshoni rain maker's contract clearly showed a no money back clause which was written in very, very small print.
The mayor said that we have to get past the hummingbirds and the Shoshoni shyster or we'll be doomed like Philadelphia.
He then informed the news media that the Republic of China has offered to purchase the Brooklyn Bridge.
SIDENOTE: The mayor said that if it is decided to sell the Brooklyn Bridge to China he is certain that the city can buy a new one from Mexico at a very cheap price.