Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 18 January 2014

image for The Cucamonga Chapter of The Hells Angels Is Relocating To Colorado
Members of the Cucamonga Chapter of the Hells Angels on their way to Colorado.

CUCAMONGA, California - The director of the Cucamonga Chapter of The Hells Angels motorcycle club, Clyde "Vroom-Vroom" Stefenko, has informed the news media that his group will be leaving Cucamonga and relocating to Denver, Colorado.

Stefenko stated that the move is not being made because of Colorado's new pot is legal law, but because the members love to ride their Harley Davidson's up into the Rocky Mountains.

Vroom-Vroom commented that the Hells Angels did take a vote on the matter and the vote came out 304 for the move and 2 against.

One of the 2 who voted not to move to Colorado was Dylan Dustorelli who said that he is allergic to snow and ice.

The second member, Biff Berrybock, stated that heights make him dizzy and with Denver being a mile high city, he would be about as dizzy as Barbara Walters at a federally mandated marijuana burning event.

SIDENOTE: Clyde Stefenko said that many of the Hells Angels members hope to get jobs working as security guards at Denver pot shops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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