Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 18 January 2014

image for A 71-Year-Old Geography Teacher Wins $100,000 In A Twerking Contest
Noranelle Grainquist relaxing in her mobile home.

NEW ORLEANS - The Louisiana Department of Festivities has just announced that a 61-year-old high school geography teacher from Lafayette, Louisiana has just won first place in the 1st Annual Louisiana Twerking Contest.

Noranelle Grainquist was the winner of the event which took place in New Orleans' Voodoo Arena.

The Lafayette grandmother beat out a field that consisted of 709 male and female contestants ranging in age from 19 to 71.

Mrs. Grainquist said that she entered the contest on a dare from her two granddaughters Lilly and Dilly McDimple.

Ellen DeGeneres who was born and raised in Louisiana served as the event's master of ceremonies.

Music for the event was provided by Louisiana's own Cajun Cal & The Bayou Swamp Dwellers.

In the twerking finals Mrs. Grainquist amazingly beat out a very sexy 24-year-old pole dancer from Shreveport, Louisiana.

SIDENOTE: After the event Noranelle Grainquist told reporters that she is going to take part of the winnings and get that hip replacement surgery she's been wanting for the past 9 years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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