Written by rlquayle
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Topics: Bicycle, Hit-and-run

Monday, 30 October 2006

image for Young Boy Marooned After Hit and Run Bicycle Accident
Little Scotty Parker calls for help after being left for 24 hours in the grape vines of an abandoned winery.

A local 4th grader was found alone early this afternoon in an abandoned winery north of Castle Rock. Little Scotty Parker was famished when he was located by police, who had been searching all night for the boy.

According to his parents, Bob and Della, Scotty left his home in South Lake Township at noon yesterday for a bike ride. "He said he would be home for dinner," his mother said tearfully. "I made his favorite; beans and weenies. When it got dark and he didn't come home, I called Chief Bradson right away."

After questioning the brave child, police Chief Ken Bradson found that Scotty had been involved in a hit-and-run bicycle accident while riding innocently near the winery.

"It was a scary man who hit me!" Scotty exclaimed. "I was just riding on my new Schwinn when I heard a noise behind me. I turned around and there was a guy with a scooter coming after me. It wasn't an electric scooter either. It was one of those one's where you have to push with one leg to make it go. He was really good at it too. He was going way too fast for a dirt road. I was going faster, cuz my Schwinn came with off-roading tires. But he was just too good, so I got really tired and fell off."

The man, who some have started referring to as "The scooter-guist," continued to speed over Scotty's bike, damaging the rear tire. Even the tough, off-road Schwinn could not hold up to the weight of the scooter-guist. He then rode off into the grape vines of the abandoned winery, marooning the boy with an unrideable Schwinn.

"I was so mad, cuz that bike was really cool. All my friends said so. I decided to run after the guy, then I got lost in the grape vines" said the brave young boy.

Luckily, Scotty was able to survive the 24-hour ordeal thanks to the plump, ripe grapes he plucked from the vines.

"I don't like grapes or other fruit," claimed Scotty. "But I was real hungry. Then, when it got dark, I had to use the leaves as a bed. They kept me warm a lot! Now, I think grapes and other fruits are okay. I guess the grapes saved my life!"

The Scooter-guist remains at large. Police have scoured the grape vine area looking for any tracks that may lead to his hiding place.

Scotty's father, a local politician, stated in a public statement earlier today that the city "will not rest until this demon is sent to prison where he can no longer damage the bikes of innocent children."

Unfortunately, since the man was not driving a car, Chief Bradson was unable to think of a valid law that he might have broken. Therefore, the scooter-bandit will not be imprisoned if he is captured.

"The most we can do is catch him, and tell him how mean he is, and then we have to let him go, I guess." Said Bradson.

For now, parents will remain on the lookout for a mysterious scooter riding man, and the roads of South Lake will be without bike-riding school children.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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