Written by Keith Shirey
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Thursday, 16 January 2014

image for Crock Bros. Mega Yacht Sinks Chemical Kings Now Safe
YACHT SINKS, ALL SAFE

The Crock Brothers, David and Charles, their wives (shunned by most of NY society because of right-wing extremist views of their husbands), and crew of the Leander, a 246-foot mega yacht that costs up to $500,000 per week to rent, have all been rescued and are back in the United States.

They attempted to keep the incident secret but failed because one of David's disgruntled employees found out about it and called this reporter. Of course, his/her name shall be withheld.

The ship crashed into a submerged island in the Pacific. The island, Tuvalu, - which is composed of three reef islands and six atolls in the Pacific - became totally under water and invisible last year due to rising oceans, the effect of climate change.

Charles and David Koch are the billionaire brothers who own the oil and chemicals conglomerate Crock Industries. They have spent millions on foundations and lobbying groups who deny climate change science. Koch Industries donated nearly $48m to climate opposition groups between 1997-2008.

Each year Crock Industries is likely responsible for about 300 million tons of carbon dioxide, the type of pollution that the vast majority of scientists agree causes global warming.

In the past few years they have "gone underground," along with Exxon-Mobil and other earth-destroying corporate giants. The Crock Brothers still fund millions into groups that systematically deny climate change science but the "dark money" is largely untraceable.

Some climate change advocates claim that Donors Trust, who is a donor-directed foundation, whose funders cannot be traced, and who give millions annually to climate change denying groups, are primarily funded by the Crocks. This reporter cannot confirm that.

What is fact, however, is that a quarter of U.S. senators and more than one-third of representatives have signed a little-known pledge - authored by the Crocks - not to spend any money to fight climate change.

Furthermore, in recent years the lobbying arm of Crock Industries, Crock Industries Public Sector LLC, has openly supported legislation to severely cut back on the EPA's ability to regulate greenhouse gases, the major contributor to climate change.

It should now be obvious why the Crocks wanted to cover up the sinking of the Leander because of its hull being ripped open by a Pacific island submerged due to climate change.

Said Greenpeace Head, Rachael Carson, "Maybe there is a God after all, the Crocks were certainly hoisted up by their own petards."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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