Written by Wayne Davis
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Tuesday, 14 January 2014

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A Homeless Dog Watches Cops Beat a Homeless Man

A Harvard Research Study released today proves that homeless dogs, reguardless of where they live, are better off then the homeless.

"Dogs have the unique ability to survive the worst situations" says researcher Doug St. Charles. "Lets face it, dogs are smarter than most people, I mean you have to be pretty stupid to end up homeless on the streets in 2014".

The indepth, five year study profiled homeless dogs from all over the country and their sad stories were similar. Their loser owners could no longer care for them, but instead of leaving them at a no kill shelter, where they would be warm and fed, they were just thrown out of a soon to be repossessed truck.

"There is alot of anger out there in the dog community" research assistant Heather Owens said. "These sweet innocent animals are doing better than their human counterparts because, well, they are better than their human counterparts".

Research results show that homeless dogs eat better, have better places to sleep and get way more belly rubs and empathy then the stinky, homeless, bums they share the cold streets and rural meth lab farms with.

"The cops beat up and kill homeless people all the time, when was the last time you heard of a cop beating a homeless dog? It just does not happen" Owens added.

Millions of dollars in donations to help the homeless dog population have been pouring in since the study was released. Thousands of dogs are being rescued from the streets and put in safe, warm shelters.

"Dogs don't drink or do drugs, they don't have mental health issues and they are grateful for the help" St. Charles stated. "Thats why people are willing to help, its a much better cause then trying to help regular homeless losers".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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