WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama speaking before a group of Hollywood stuntmen and women in the Oval Office told them that he truly admires the great work that they do.
He praised them for leaping from moving trains, dangling from buildings 80 stories in the air, and running through fire.
The president told them that in his mind they are grossly underpaid for the dangerous jobs that they do.
He then informed them that speaking of money, he is faced with the problem of the welfare system running out of money by February of 2015.
The president said that this catastrophe can be averted if he raises the taxes of the extremely rich people living in America - home of the brave and land of the free.
He said that he hates to raise the taxes on any group but added that it is just a part of being rich and having more money than you could ever possibly spend.
SIDENOTE: The president has assigned Vice-President Biden with the task of compiling a list of all the rich people living in the United States. He added that he wants their names, addresses, cell phone numbers, and social security numbers.