Written by King David
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Topics: Food, GM

Sunday, 29 October 2006

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"Free" Chicken

CARRBORRO-N.C. In the People's Republic of Carrborro today a community owned grocery store was looted when power went out on the 100th block off Weaver Street. Throngs of shareholders wearing Teva sandals and patchouli perfume rushed inside turning over store shelves containing organic produce, natural juices, soy milk and gluten free products.

An eye witness said that customers hit the shelves with so much force that the steel rebar was pulled up all the way from the foundation. Many of them were seen stuffing their pockets with herbal supplements and antibiotic free steaks, several of the pricier items in the store. Town police said that they had not seen such a mess since Franklin Street when North Carolina won the national championship two years ago.

A psychologist who worked upstairs at OPC (Orange/Person/Chatham Counties Mental Health) said that this is the clear result of repression. "Welcome to the other side of peace, love and brotherhood."

One customer, who preferred to remain anonymous, said when asked why he looted the store that he was tired of the high prices of organic foods and felt that his action would send a clear message to whoever is in charge.

But when confronted with the fact that he may be stealing from himself since this was a community owned grocery store, said "this is a political action not personal."

Many of the participants were reported to having trust funds, so apparently getting something for nothing was something they were used to.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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