Written by Wayne Davis
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Wednesday, 8 January 2014

image for Kansas Housewive Kills Unemployment Extension Bill
Die Socialist Pigs!

In the end a lone Kansas housewife killed any chance of an extension of unemployment benefits for Americas long term unemployed.

Dotty Mugg,42, of Waterboard Kansas, came to the House of Represenatives on Tuesday afternoon loaded not only with her opinion, but her Glock as well.

"Damn the socialist pigs!" Mugg yelled as she began shooting at the Democrats. Politicans scattered from the house chamber like rats from a burning barn. "Get off your lazy butts and work!" Mugg continued before she was brought down in a hail of AK47 gunfire by congressional guards.

"Damn that was one tough chick" said Congressional Aide Taylor Moore "I bet she took 50 bullets before she went down, now that is an American hero".

Mugg was no stranger to the halls of congress where she often yelled at members of congress calling them every name in the book. "Dotty was a Tea Party loyalist, who would take down any living thing in her path to further her narrow, uneducated views" said friend and Haypatch County Kansas Tea Party member Grover Snud.

Afterwards, House members stood outside on the capital steps,stunned by the event. Inside, many became sick to their stomachs by the site of emergency responders pulling pieces of Mugg's head out of the carpets and walls.

Speaker of the House John Boner was crying after the event, saying he had not witnessed anything so horrible since "Gangster Squad".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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