Global environmental scientists bewildered at the record, freezing temperatures hitting the US and Canada, have now admitted they pulled the wool (plenty of that needed there) over the global population whilst declaring the planet is heating up.
In fact, certain parts of the planet are heading into a new ice age forcing US and Canadian citizens to abandon their outdoor swimming pools, BBQ's, open top roof limos and surf boards. Instead, they are investing their hard earned money into fur coats, boots, hats and iglos.
An Aussie style, outdoor life, predicited by scientists years ago was a total lie to boost sales in summer products and to promote the "good life" feeling whilst US bankers were ripping off their clients and shipping off their wealth to warmer, tax free regions; The Bermudas for example.
All that is left in the northern part of the US is one huge iceberg, freezing homeless Mexicans searching for a better life, and a distraught US president exiled in Cuba (Well at least it is warm there!).
Scientists now predict that the melting snows in July will cause a huge tsunami and the northern US will sink without trace whilst the southern part, protected by the Rocky mountains, will become a province of Mexico because they are already in the majority.
Obama, sitting in his new White House in Cuba, built by corrupt, US bankers money, has declared the northern US a disaster area and has promised never to return!
A lonely polar bear has just been seen entering the Chase Manhatten Bank searching for something to eat, but he could only find frozen left-overs of illegal immigrants desperately hoping that there was something left in the vaults!