Written by Hydrogen Balloon

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Topics: Death, husband, laundry

Sunday, 19 January 2014

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Death By Laundry

Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is dead today after attempting to do his own laundry for the first time. Police sources say Mr. Eddie Spaghetti was found battered to death in the laundry room of the townhouse he shared with his wife. Mrs. Spaghetti is being questioned by detectives and she is expected to be arrested for manslaughter.

Neighbors on the close-knit block where Mr. Spaghetti lived say that the fatal accident occurred after Mrs. Spaghetti yelled at her husband:

"People heard Mrs. Spaghetti tell her husband that doing a little laundry wouldn't kill him." explained a male police detective at the scene. "She was always telling him to help with the housework."

Police believe that Mr. Spaghetti decided to follow his wife's orders. He apparently jumped in the washing machine with his clothes on and then closed the lid. It looks like he was battered to death sometime during the spin cycle.

"I guess he thought it was normal to jump in the washing machine." said the detective. Guys just don't know about this kind of stuff." he explained.

Police sources say the death was not that unusual.

"We are constantly seeing husbands dying from cooking, cleaning, and especially vacuuming." said the detective. "Wives--leave your husbands alone!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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