Pyongyang, North Korea - Supreme leader Kim Jong-Un continues his threats towards the western world as North Korea has just announced it will begin drone testing for military use. In an undisclosed deal with US retailer Brookstone, North Korean plans on launching more than six A.R. Parrot drones in the next 4 years. It is unclear the specific military use for these drone, however, the US immediately responded by dropping the alert status to DEFCON 5.
"For too long the west has been able to fly cool robots around suburban neighborhoods for no reason other than to immediately break their $400 new toys," Kim Jong-Un announced in front of more than 32 family members. He continued, "It is our turn to become enraged at the low quality video recordings these drones take!" Sources say that directly after the announcement, three family members were executed.
Congress has not taken the news lightly. Congressional hearings have been called in order to assess Brookstone's involvement and possible treason charges. Robert Wilson, spokeman for Brookstone Inc., refused to report to congress, instead releasing the following statement:
"Calm down, dipshits, these are just toys for stoned kids and perverts."
While the tension seems to have subsided, both sides remain on watch as North Korea continues to openly threaten the United States and its allies. It also remains unclear how North Korea plans on recharging the country's only remaining iPad (second generation).