Written by Wayne Davis
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Tuesday, 31 December 2013

image for Unemployed Texans Used To Feed Homeless
I Can't Believe it's Not Chicken

A Dallas based Food company has found a creative way of feeding the cities ever growing homeless population, the unemployed.

Using cutting edge human to food technology, the folks at "I Can't Believe it's Not Chicken" are helping shrink the ranks of the areas lazy, unemployed whiners by utilizing them to feed drunk, homeless bums.

"I can't believe we didn't think of this back in the 80's when the Savings and Loan scandal happened" said Congressman Richard "Lucky Dick" Stewart. "We are savings millions in unemployment benefits and feeding the needy at the same time".

"We can make enough meals out of one unemployed tech geek to feed over 100 people" said Homeless Advocate Lupa Gomez-Abdallah "The smiles on the addicts faces when they are eating the meals is so heartwarming, especially at Christmas".

The top secret plan was begun last summer at a small beta testing location in Odessa. The nugget shaped "Chips" as they are called where an instant success with the Odessa homeless population and supplies soon ran out. "We had to double our production lines" said company president Jim Ralph. "Fortunately we have a never ending supply of selfish, entitled minded unemployed people to utilize for this effort".

The company and community advocates expect to feed over 1,000 people this holiday season and are gearing up for an even bigger 2014. "With the economy still in rough shape, and with the long term unemployed basically screwed for the rest of their lives, I think we will see big numbers in 2014" Ralph stated.

The unemployed are given a $100.00 gift card to a local shopping mall in exchange for participating in the program.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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