Written by Smart Blonde Bimbo
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Topics: Christmas, Money, cash

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

image for Most Desired Gift is Cash

Shoppers were stopped and interviewed by our blonde, intrepid reporter, and asked one simple question: if you could have anything you wanted from Santa, what would it be?

Sarah, a single mother of two, said "Cash". Why cash? "Well, it's small, it's green, and that fat, gorgeous hunk pictured on the one hundred appears to be just my size. What's not to like?" And her husband James, doesn't appear to be jealous. "We learned early on in our marriage to share".

Little Denny said he didn't just want one of those bills. He wants as many of the little green pictures of George, Ben, Alexander, Abraham, and Ulysses as Santa and his parents can spare. What would he do with all of those pictures? "Just look at them a while--and then go buy something shiny."

We learned that even the barkeep is wishing for the same thing. He has his jar on the corner of the bar, in hopes that Santa will belly up, order a bourbon--or a nog, and deposit a thoughtful token in recognition of the hard toil that she'd undertaken all year.

For those of us who are stumped on what to get our loved ones for Christmas, perhaps we should take a cue from this story, and just give the gift that everyone wants--plain, old cash.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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