Written by Smart Blonde Bimbo

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Topics: Fat, Austerity, dress

Monday, 23 December 2013

image for Customers Frustrated With Sizing of Clothing

And the debate goes on: Are clothes getting smaller, or are we as a population getting bigger? Experts from several industries met at the Hotel Louisville. As they gorged on crab cakes, steamboat roast beef, potatoes, chili, green bean casserole, meatloaf smothered in ketchup--and drank copious amounts of martinis and bloody Mary cocktails; they bandied about ideas.

One lady complained about dresses having weak zippers. She worked retail for years, and noticed that a size 12 in the sixties is not today's size 12. She also noted that one company limited their sizes to 1,2,3 and 4.

Another participant, an ambulance driver, noted that patients are getting wedged in the gurneys more often, and they have to use the Jaws of Life just to extricate them before transferring the patients to emergency.

The meeting came to a close, with everyone concluding that government contracting gave birth to the Materials Reduction Act, a form of austerity that forces all Americans to diet so they all look like Kate Moss. They further concluded that the recent legalization of marijuana may change the impact on the population as it is well known that marijuana use has been known to stimulate hunger.

We will follow this story as it further develops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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