At a press conference this morning, President Obama announced that he is to be placed on Mount Rushmore. For one thing, this will create at least one thousand jobs and increase tourism in South Dakota.
The White House Press Corps erupted in applause when the announcement was made. Representatives from CBS, MSNBC, PBS, ABC, NBC, and NPR all wept and beat their breasts. "He should be the ONLY one on Rushmore", shouted Rush Limbaugh, surprisingly.
The last President under consideration to be carved into the mountains of South Dakota was Ronald Reagan. Reagan, considering the overwhelming support and acclaim he received from the American people, seemed a natural choice. The Congress approved of Reagan on Rushmore, but President Bill Clinton overruled the order.
"I don't want either one of their faces there", stated Clinton. "We need a woman up there!"
Actually, in an effort to reach across the aisle, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney will be escorting the President.
"I can't wait to go see where I'll be."
"We can't wait to see it either", stated Cheney.
That was early this morning. No one has heard from them since although a "lost him somewhere" came in, cell phones are hard to get through up there.