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Tuesday, 17 December 2013

image for Doomsday nut Harold Camping's final prediction warned Mayan Calendar prophecy 'only one year out'
This year's Feast of Yule could be apocalyptic

Oakland, California - It's a roller coaster ride to Armageddon this Winter Solstice weekend with the publication of failed Apocalyptic prophet Harold Camping's final deathbed rant exonerating the 2012 Mayan Calendar fiasco as 'slightly out of sync'.

Camping, 92, died last Sunday following a stellar career creaming megabux dollars from gullible Doomsday congregations with his daft Judgement Day prophecies.

Last week in a webcast from a dingy downtown motel refuge the failed seer was adamant this year's Midwinter's Day will be what the Mayans foresaw as the End of Daze...before running out of space on a clay tablet calendar designed to warn future generations about the actual date of the world's destruction.

Fortunately, fans of Doomsday culture can rest assured the retired Armageddon peddler was clinically nuts, certified as 'raving' by Seedy Sign-Eye Hospital shrinks after messing up badly with a series of flaccid end-of-the-world punts.

His 15 December RIP has been described as a blessing to beleaguered widow Poppy, exasperated by her husband's most recent bout of hospitalization with third degree psychosis for blaming godless agents of disinformation 'and the American Tea Party' for screwing up God's master plan.

Meanwhile this Saturday 21 December the sun enters Capricorn just after 9am California Time, signalling the beginning of the year's shortest day and the annual unfurling of karmic farces of Yule.

About five hours later the Lesser Benefic planet Venus suddenly turns to retrograde motion in a clear signal of Judgement Day coming down upon the Earth.

Camping's internment at an Oakland cemetery takes place about twenty minutes later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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