Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: George W. Bush, Iraq

Wednesday, 25 October 2006

image for Bush Declares Iraqi Truce Before Election

Washington, DC - President Bush is planning to declare a truce in Iraq before the November 7th election; preferring to lose the war in Iraq, rather than the Republican majority in Congress. Stay The Course will be taking a Detour For Peace with hopes of insuring a Republican victory. During a George Stephanopoulos interview, Bush managed to keep a straight face insisting, "Stay The Course was just one of our many options."

Asleep On The Job, was also an option sliding around the desk top. Mission Accomplished is already in the waste paper basket, along with Nation Building. The election polls continued to drop, and Karl Rove had no success labeling Democrats Al-Qaeda sympathizers or cut and run cowards. Even blaming every Republican misfortune on the previous administration failed. "Billy did it."

Like Madonna, the President plans to present his arguments about the Detour For Peace on the Oprah show. She may even give him a new car. Heather Mills is signed up for an Oprah visit as well. She doesn't need a car, but her television appearance may boost Oprah's ratings; higher than those of both Madonna and Bush. Meanwhile, Mel Gibson might squeeze in an appearance and another apology. He could use a car and driver. There's no business like show business.

However, what the President plans to do the day after the election remains iffy. If both houses remain in Republican hands, it will be back to: Stay The Course; Nation Building; Mission Going To Be Accomplished Eventually; and U Turn Back To War. Once again, opponents of the war will be called cut and run cowards.

Hearing the plans of a coalition pull out from Iraq, Barhan Salih, (Who?) the Iraqi deputy Prime Minister, pleaded with America and Britain not to "cut and run", and accuse western leaders of "defeatism". He's desperately trying to get on the Oprah show. He could use a camel.

Hearing of the deputy Prime Minister's criticism, President Bush telephoned Tony Blair. "Yo, Blair. Your job is closing down and there's a new job opening up. It's a head of state and you'll have a car and driver. How would like to be the new Prime Minister of Iraq?"

Click.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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