Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Food, Beer, Homeless, Delaware

Saturday, 7 December 2013

image for Delaware Seeks To Ban Homeless People
Homeless man Arnold "Cotton Face" Plattkins says he won't work for food but he will take $5 donations.

DOVER, Delaware - Senator Preston Wybinski [R-Dover] has just become one of the state's most hated individuals.

The senator introduced a bill that would ban any homeless people from residing within the state.

The senator was asked by American Spotlight Magazine why in the world he would introduce such a mean, heartless bill.

He put down his 12-inch cigar and said that he has dozens of people in his district who asked him to enter the bill.

When asked why he replied that his district has more homeless people standing on the street corners asking for money than any other town in the state.

He noted that there are only so many corners and lots of cardboard-carrying homeless people.

The senator went on to say that some corners have as much as two and three homeless people.

He stated that the original "Will Work For Food" concept was all just a bunch of baloney (no pun intended).

Senator Wybinski commented that the homeless do not want to have to work for food because they actually want beer and some of these homeless people can make as much as $70 a day from kindhearted motorists.

SIDENOTE: The Delaware Senate plans to vote on Senator Wybinski's Anti-Homeless People Bill after the Christmas and New Year's holidays.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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