IOWA CITY, Iowa - Many Iowa farmers are up in arms at the announcement that the state may be in the process of outlawing the use of scarecrows on all Iowa farms.
A clerk in the governor's office informed reporters for three of Iowa's largest newspapers that the measure could be in place as soon as January 13, 2014.
The clerk, who refused to reveal her name for fear of intimidation, said that the reason why scarecrows may be banned is due to the fact that a group of atheists have said that they feel that corn farmers are making fun of them by using scarecrows.
When one atheist was asked how in the world they could even remotely think that a scarecrow was being used to insult them the atheist who would only give her initials, F.F.Q. said that everyone knows that scarecrows do not believe in God.
Meanwhile Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow [R-Sioux City] said that the real reason is because the scarecrows appear to be weak individuals since they in fact have no spine.
She went on to say that several hundred people have signed a petition calling for all scarecrows to be removed from Iowa farms since they do in fact make fun of weak people.
One farmer identified as Ludlow Peabody said that if anyone tries to take Sarah his Scarecrow he will have to answer to Bucky (his double barrel shotgun).