Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 2 December 2013

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Baggage thief John Papelbon will be flown from Denver down to Juarez, Mexico.

DENVER - The officials at Denver International Airport are still very upset at John "Johnny" Papelbon, 52, who was caught stealing passenger's luggage from the airport baggage carousels.

Two of the bags that Papelbon stole belonged to musician Peter Frampton and noted California attorney Ginger Allred.

Denver International Airport officials have stated that monetary arrangements have been made with Mexican authorities in Juarez, Mexico to transport Mr. Papelbon down there.

Lydia Lindavista, 27, A spokeswoman for the Juarez Police Department stated that Mr. Papelbon will be incarcerated with some real mean prisoners.

She noted that Papelbon will subside on one tortilla for breakfast, a bowl of frijoles (beans) for lunch, and a mango for dinner.

Miss Lindavista then giggled and commented that Johnny "Juanito" Papelbon will most probably be elected the new Prison Bitch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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