North Korean leader Kim Jong Un had an American tourist, Merrill Newman, captured and accused the 75-year-old man of being a spy. Then he placed Newman on TV to read what was written for him confessing to not only being a spy but eating children.
"I don't know what happened", states Newman in TV confession "but I ate three small North Korean Children."
He also confessed that while he was a soldier during the Korean War, he killed over 100,000 North Koreans with a sword.
Considering that Kim had just had 80 of his own people executed for minor offenses, the deal America is trying to work out may get nasty.
In Washington they are wondering if John Kerry will be sent there since Kerry fought in Vietnam.
"I don't think that would stop this guy from doing anything he wants. He's watched China showing off and will try to outdo everyone", stated a Capitol Source.
Update: Kim Jong Un has just announced that North Korea now has a stealth plane that is so fast, it was hit by it's own fired missiles as it sped through.
"That is why we cannot show you this amazing new plane. We are now working on croaking device!"