Written by K.C. Bell
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Friday, 29 November 2013

image for Republicans Ordered To Repay $24 Billion For Government Shutdown
Yes, we can!

The Supreme Court decided that the Republican members of the House and the Senate who caused the government shutdown, in an attempt to overturn the Affordable Care Act, must repay the US federal treasury $24 billion or resign from their present position as members of the House or Senate.

The $24 billion figure echoes, "the wrath of god" comparison made in the Paddy Chayefsky film Network. A cupcake sale just isn't going to dent this wrath and forget finding an antique in the attic or selling a dinner with a member of the House or Senate. The sum of $24 billion is, (like the guy said) the wrath of god and Republicans are jumping ship.

Like Prissy in Gone With The Wind confessing, "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin babies," Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he had nothing to do with the shutdown even though he managed a twenty-four hour filibuster on the floor of the Senate against the Affordable Care Act. Though the Affordable Care Act is health insurance for over fifty million uninsured Americans, Mr. Cruz and company acted as though Obama was giving away a free Buick to fifty million Americans.

And how many free Buicks would $24 billion buy? That sum could have purchased six hundred thousand Buicks. Probably triple that number for a Smart car. However, that $24 billion is just gone with the wind thanks to the Republicans. And that's no small Texas "oops".

Hearing the news that he would have to pay up or get out, Speaker of the House John Boehner turned from orange to grey to pistachio, followed by his natural skin-tone after drinking three glasses of water. "That was what the American people wanted," he insisted.

Only 14% of Americans support the Tea Party, and with John Boehner's help, the Tea Party cost the US economy $24 billion.

House and Senate members, who supported the smaller government view of the Tea Party, might reach out to the Koch brothers for the $24 billion. That's pocket money for the brothers Koch.

According to WikiLeaks Ed Snowden, the CIA budget is 17 billion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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