Written by Lyndon
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Thursday, 28 November 2013

image for If you're in the box, stop thinking outside it--interviewing tips for job seekers
Companies know that finding qualified workers is as impossible as finding a needle in a haystack, so you're in luck!

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week which suggests that beliefs about interview etiquette may amount to nothing more than wives' tales.

How long has it been cool to say, "I think outside the box"? Well, according to Dwight Stevens, instructor of business education at HSC, perhaps too long.

"People don't want to admit that they actually spend most of their time thinking inside the box. A lot still goes on inside the box and we need people in the workforce to be able to think inside one."

According to Stevens, job seekers can discard another source of worry: "I have no real experience."

"Please," says Stevens. "Nothing screams 'lower-than-entry-level-pay' louder than a candidate with no experience. Firms love to see you walk through the door."

Finally, being able to craft the written word has often come between a job and eager beaver, but no more says Stevens.

"It's largely believed by most companies that not a goddamn person out of college can put more than subject / verb / object together without really mucking it up. Hey, as long as there's spell check, who cares if you know anything about run-on sentences?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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