Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: chicago, Darts, bars, Injuries

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

image for Chicago Bans Dart Boards In All Drinking Establishments
Dart board game injuries in Chicago bars have increased by 400 percent.

CHICAGO - The Chicago City Council has just issued a city mandate that will prohibit all drinking establishments including bars, lounges, clubs, and cantinas within the city limits from having a dart board on the premises.

The CCC took this measure due to the recent rash of dart board game injuries that have taken place within the past two weeks.

One bar owner, who would only give his name as Bruiser Biff, said that he noticed that all of a sudden some of the better dart game players were missing the dart board altogether and hitting other patrons that were sitting nearby.

Dozens of other bar owners reported having the same situation occur in their taverns.

One of the better dart game players in the Windy City, who said his name was Tyrone "Wassup" Watertree, 27, told a local newspaper reporter that the sudden surge in dart game injuries is positively calculated and is directed towards rival gang members.

SIDENOTE: The new No Dart Game Mandate will go into effect on Black Friday, November 29.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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